What the High-Fashion Dead Are Wearing This Season

Someone on Upwork is looking for a "Ghost Sports Fashion Writer." There is so much packed into this little job title. To begin with, what are ghost sports? I can only assume the ghosts are participating in competition. The sports world has taken quite a hit, but I didn't think we were at the point of having ghosts compete. That would solve the virus-transmission problem, so maybe it's not such a crazy idea. So, what I hear this person asking for is an expert on what ghosts wear when they compete in sporting events (please refer to my previous blog on overly-specific areas of expertise).

But wait a minute! In the actual content of the post, it says a "Ghost Fashion Sports Writer" is needed. That's completely different! Now we're talking about ghost fashion. What are they wearing this year? And the fact that a sports writer is needed to cover said fashion leads me to believe that there is again some sort of competition going on. A ghost fashion show? A "who wore it best" for ghosts?

Either way, I think I might apply.

Comments

The One That Got Away

I recently applied to and did not get a position posted for a "retro candy blogger." I honestly don't think I have ever been so disappointed by not getting a job. If I'm being honest, though, I really just wanted it so that I could eat candy at my desk all day and say I was doing research. If my kids tried to talk to me I could say, with a mouthful of jelly beans, "Don't interrupt me! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M WORKING HERE?!" I mean, I do that now anyway, but it's considered "bad parenting" instead of "a good work ethic."

Wait, What Are You Looking For?

"Ghost writing autobiographies" Wait, you are a ghost writing autobiographies, or you're looking for a ghost to write autobiographies? Those are two completely different things. "Needs content for teeth aligned companies" I am assuming you mean teeth-alignment companies. Or do all of these companies have perfect dental alignment? I didn't think companies had teeth, but I'm no expert. "Email newsletters, blog posts, and possibly email drip campaign copywriting (in edgy swagger voice)" In what? Am I supposed to know what "edgy swagger" means? Is that a term a lot of people are using? "Responsive Squarespace Website for Infant" I don't think most babies can read. Or navigate websites. Or sit up. "Dog product testor" Do you want a person to test these products? Or are you searching for dogs? You're much more likely to find them on Pupwork. Oh, never mind, you're looking for a testor, not a tester. Carry

The Romans Finally Left! CANNONBALL!!

This job opportunity on Upwork is no longer available, which surprises me, because it means somebody actually attempted to do it. "Newsletter for Jewish Holidays We are a contractor on the pool business and we need a content writer to specifically write content for our newsletters that are sent on Jewish holidays. Need someone that understands the Jewish culture and can create connections between a pool company and Jewish holidays." Here's the problem—if you understand Jewish culture, you also understand that there are no connections to swimming pools that could possibly be made. Most of our holidays are about celebrating that we escaped persecution, eating special high-calorie foods, or celebrating that we escaped persecution by eating special high-calorie foods. Rosh Hashanah What it is? The Jewish New Year. It is one of the High Holidays. Jews who never go to temple go on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. It's like the Jewish equivalent of Christmas and Easter in t

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