Skip to main content

What the High-Fashion Dead Are Wearing This Season

Someone on Upwork is looking for a "Ghost Sports Fashion Writer." There is so much packed into this little job title. To begin with, what are ghost sports? I can only assume the ghosts are participating in competition. The sports world has taken quite a hit, but I didn't think we were at the point of having ghosts compete. That would solve the virus-transmission problem, so maybe it's not such a crazy idea. So, what I hear this person asking for is an expert on what ghosts wear when they compete in sporting events (please refer to my previous blog on overly-specific areas of expertise).

But wait a minute! In the actual content of the post, it says a "Ghost Fashion Sports Writer" is needed. That's completely different! Now we're talking about ghost fashion. What are they wearing this year? And the fact that a sports writer is needed to cover said fashion leads me to believe that there is again some sort of competition going on. A ghost fashion show? A "who wore it best" for ghosts?

Either way, I think I might apply.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Do You Have Any Fingers Left? Great! Now Write Me a Story.

"Writers wanted for true Colorado Outdoor Adventure Stories I am looking for EXTREMELY adventurous TRUE stories from your own experience. Encounters with wildlife Lost in the wilderness Lost on the mountain in a blizzard Ice climbing close call" Now, after you crawl back home with your severed leg from the bear attack and your bloody finger stumps from the unfortunate frostbite incident, write me a story! You can peck at the keys with your face if you have to.  Oh, and can you make it funny? My readers love funny. Like, "how was I supposed to know that grizzly bears love Clif Bars??? So there I am, with only one leg, and nothing to eat! I just wanted to laugh, but thought I better conserve my energy since I was bleeding out on the trail." For your harrowing story of true bravery and infected bite wounds, I will pay you $5. But remember, your name would be on it! How exciting! Now none of your friends will EVER go on a trip with you again. And really your name isn...

No More Listicles

First, let me establish that I LOVE combining words. For example, my kids have Chanukah-themed pajamas—their pajamukahs. I love that word so much that I'm going to make sure they have Chanukah pajamas every year just so that I can keep using it. There are some word combos that just don't work when you say them out loud. Listicles is one of those words. It just sounds too much like testicles. Once I made this connection I couldn't think about the word any other way, and now I'm bringing it to your attention so that we can all stop using it.  Do you hear it? What if I said, "You can tell this list is male because of its listicles." Now do you hear it? So, no more job postings asking for listicles, please. Maybe we could come up with another word. Larticles? No. Listitorial? Maybe. Or we could just admit defeat and call them articles with lists. Or list-based articles.  Just, please, no more listicles. Are we all cool? Great, now I can check that off my listicle....

You'd Better Not Be Lying About the Pizzas!

Although I started this blog recently, the original idea for it came more than a year ago, not long after I started looking for jobs on Upwork. This was how the post began. "I want an experienced writer who is interested in pizza cooking. You'd better have 1-year experience on pizza cooking." You'd better have one year of experience cooking pizzas? Is that meant to sound like a threat, because it sounds like a threat. Don't come to me with ten months of pizza-baking experience and think I won't know! I mean, STOP WASTING MY TIME!  Luckily I haven't encountered any other pizza-baking, cookbook-creating potential employers using strong-arm tactics since.