Do You Have Any Fingers Left? Great! Now Write Me a Story.

"Writers wanted for true Colorado Outdoor Adventure Stories

I am looking for EXTREMELY adventurous TRUE stories from your own experience.

Encounters with wildlife
Lost in the wilderness
Lost on the mountain in a blizzard
Ice climbing close call"

Now, after you crawl back home with your severed leg from the bear attack and your bloody finger stumps from the unfortunate frostbite incident, write me a story! You can peck at the keys with your face if you have to.

Oh, and can you make it funny? My readers love funny. Like, "how was I supposed to know that grizzly bears love Clif Bars??? So there I am, with only one leg, and nothing to eat! I just wanted to laugh, but thought I better conserve my energy since I was bleeding out on the trail."

For your harrowing story of true bravery and infected bite wounds, I will pay you $5. But remember, your name would be on it! How exciting! Now none of your friends will EVER go on a trip with you again. And really your name isn't going to be used much anymore anyhow, because you'll be going by your new nickname of Stumpy or Griz or something like that.

Fewer than five men have managed to face-type their proposals so far.

Back to writing everyone!

Sadie

Comments

Seeking Non-Empowered Woman for Empowered Women's Blog

Just found a job posting for an editor position. The hirer describes herself as a "business coach for a women-empowerment brand. She plans to pay her editor $7 to $10 an hour. So, she's all about empowering women, but she's not going to hire an empowered woman, because no empowered woman would accept less than minimum wage for her editing skills! It appears that there is, unfortunately, no shortage of unempowered women as 20 to 50 of them have already applied to the job. Didn't you people learn anything from The Devil Wears Prada?! Go watch it again, sister. After all, you would only be losing $15 of billable time. Get back to work empowered readers, Sadie

You'd Better Not Be Lying About the Pizzas!

Although I started this blog recently, the original idea for it came more than a year ago, not long after I started looking for jobs on Upwork. This was how the post began. "I want an experienced writer who is interested in pizza cooking. You'd better have 1-year experience on pizza cooking." You'd better have one year of experience cooking pizzas? Is that meant to sound like a threat, because it sounds like a threat. Don't come to me with ten months of pizza-baking experience and think I won't know! I mean, STOP WASTING MY TIME! Luckily I haven't encountered any other pizza-baking, cookbook-creating potential employers using strong-arm tactics since.

The Romans Finally Left! CANNONBALL!!

This job opportunity on Upwork is no longer available, which surprises me, because it means somebody actually attempted to do it. "Newsletter for Jewish Holidays We are a contractor on the pool business and we need a content writer to specifically write content for our newsletters that are sent on Jewish holidays. Need someone that understands the Jewish culture and can create connections between a pool company and Jewish holidays." Here's the problem—if you understand Jewish culture, you also understand that there are no connections to swimming pools that could possibly be made. Most of our holidays are about celebrating that we escaped persecution, eating special high-calorie foods, or celebrating that we escaped persecution by eating special high-calorie foods. Rosh Hashanah What it is? The Jewish New Year. It is one of the High Holidays. Jews who never go to temple go on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. It's like the Jewish equivalent of Christmas and Easter in t...

Downworker

Search This Blog