No More Listicles

First, let me establish that I LOVE combining words. For example, my kids have Chanukah-themed pajamas—their pajamukahs. I love that word so much that I'm going to make sure they have Chanukah pajamas every year just so that I can keep using it.

There are some word combos that just don't work when you say them out loud. Listicles is one of those words. It just sounds too much like testicles. Once I made this connection I couldn't think about the word any other way, and now I'm bringing it to your attention so that we can all stop using it.

Do you hear it? What if I said, "You can tell this list is male because of its listicles." Now do you hear it?

So, no more job postings asking for listicles, please. Maybe we could come up with another word. Larticles? No. Listitorial? Maybe. Or we could just admit defeat and call them articles with lists. Or list-based articles.

Just, please, no more listicles. Are we all cool? Great, now I can check that off my listicle.

Get back to writing!

Sadie

Comments

Wait, What Are You Looking For?

"Ghost writing autobiographies" Wait, you are a ghost writing autobiographies, or you're looking for a ghost to write autobiographies? Those are two completely different things. "Needs content for teeth aligned companies" I am assuming you mean teeth-alignment companies. Or do all of these companies have perfect dental alignment? I didn't think companies had teeth, but I'm no expert. "Email newsletters, blog posts, and possibly email drip campaign copywriting (in edgy swagger voice)" In what? Am I supposed to know what "edgy swagger" means? Is that a term a lot of people are using? "Responsive Squarespace Website for Infant" I don't think most babies can read. Or navigate websites. Or sit up. "Dog product testor" Do you want a person to test these products? Or are you searching for dogs? You're much more likely to find them on Pupwork. Oh, never mind, you're looking for a testor, not a tester. Carry ...

You'd Better Not Be Lying About the Pizzas!

Although I started this blog recently, the original idea for it came more than a year ago, not long after I started looking for jobs on Upwork. This was how the post began. "I want an experienced writer who is interested in pizza cooking. You'd better have 1-year experience on pizza cooking." You'd better have one year of experience cooking pizzas? Is that meant to sound like a threat, because it sounds like a threat. Don't come to me with ten months of pizza-baking experience and think I won't know! I mean, STOP WASTING MY TIME! Luckily I haven't encountered any other pizza-baking, cookbook-creating potential employers using strong-arm tactics since.

Psst! Fifty Bucks for a Book Report?

Back in my day we just copied off of each other on tests, but students these days are much more savvy. They hire people to do their homework for them on Upwork. Nobody comes out and says, "please do my homework assignment," but there are usually other telltale signs that your potential employer is a well-to-do, lazy teenager—the details are vague, it involves a book that every high schooler is forced to read, or it's due the same day. Here are a few that just scream, "Please do my homework!" "Article on Mother Ignacia" "Two short summaries on famous literature" "Research report due in a few hours" "Religion assignment" I said most of them don't come out and say it's coursework, but that last one is pretty straightforward about it. Maybe they are feeling particularly guilty about somebody doing their religion homework? Wanted—a two-page paper on plagiarism for my ethics class.

Downworker

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