Downworker

"Professional video editor needed for edge-of-seat definitive proof of Bigfoot-exists encounter." I have never really wanted to be a video editor until now. I mean, this would just be a fun job. I did take a look at the Appalachian Bigfoot and Dogman Research Facebook site that is mentioned in the post. For the most part, it's full of very fuzzy photos of black bears, photos of black bear footprints, and some photos of footprints that are so large they couldn't possibly be from a black bear (unless of course the black bear was stepping into a front paw track with its back foot, making what looks like a very large bear footprint). Hopefully someone got the job who was a true believer.

This job opportunity on Upwork is no longer available, which surprises me, because it means somebody actually attempted to do it. "Newsletter for Jewish Holidays We are a contractor on the pool business and we need a content writer to specifically write content for our newsletters that are sent on Jewish holidays. Need someone that understands the Jewish culture and can create connections between a pool company and Jewish holidays." Here's the problem—if you understand Jewish culture, you also understand that there are no connections to swimming pools that could possibly be made. Most of our holidays are about celebrating that we escaped persecution, eating special high-calorie foods, or celebrating that we escaped persecution by eating special high-calorie foods. Rosh Hashanah  What it is?    The Jewish New Year. It is one of the High Holidays. Jews who never go to temple go on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. It's like the Jewish equivalent of Christmas and Easter in t

This job posting is the perfect example of someone looking for a proofreader but also needing a proofreader to proof the job posting for the proofreader. "A proof reader needed to correct contents delivery is to help proofread our content to be sure of no mistake  The freelancer should able to check,correct,delete,rearrange,copy edit,cut and edit  Just setting up to edit a manuscript and to get to amortize over the course of a whole book but not to an article" Right away let me say that I'm totally on the same page as whoever wrote this entry—you desperately need a proofreader. Most writers/editors can figure out what someone is at least trying to say even if it's written poorly, but for that last line, I really have no clue. While "amortize" is a word, I'm pretty sure it's not the one they meant to use. And it sounds like the job might include proofing manuscripts and books but not articles? It's hard to say. The job is being offered at entry-le

Although I started this blog recently, the original idea for it came more than a year ago, not long after I started looking for jobs on Upwork. This was how the post began. "I want an experienced writer who is interested in pizza cooking. You'd better have 1-year experience on pizza cooking." You'd better have one year of experience cooking pizzas? Is that meant to sound like a threat, because it sounds like a threat. Don't come to me with ten months of pizza-baking experience and think I won't know! I mean, STOP WASTING MY TIME!  Luckily I haven't encountered any other pizza-baking, cookbook-creating potential employers using strong-arm tactics since.

Someone on Upwork is looking for a "Ghost Sports Fashion Writer." There is so much packed into this little job title. To begin with, what are ghost sports? I can only assume the ghosts are participating in competition. The sports world has taken quite a hit, but I didn't think we were at the point of having ghosts compete. That would solve the virus-transmission problem, so maybe it's not such a crazy idea. So, what I hear this person asking for is an expert on what ghosts wear when they compete in sporting events (please refer to my previous blog on overly-specific areas of expertise ). But wait a minute! In the actual content of the post, it says a "Ghost Fashion Sports Writer" is needed. That's completely different! Now we're talking about ghost fashion. What are they wearing this year? And the fact that a sports writer is needed to cover said fashion leads me to believe that there is again some sort of competition going on. A ghost fashion show?

Back in my day we just copied off of each other on tests, but students these days are much more savvy. They hire people to do their homework for them on Upwork. Nobody comes out and says, "please do my homework assignment," but there are usually other telltale signs that your potential employer is a well-to-do, lazy teenager—the details are vague, it involves a book that every high schooler is forced to read, or it's due the same day. Here are a few that just scream, "Please do my homework!" "Article on Mother Ignacia" "Two short summaries on famous literature" "Research report due in a few hours" "Religion assignment" I said most of them don't come out and say it's coursework, but that last one is pretty straightforward about it. Maybe they are feeling particularly guilty about somebody doing their religion homework?  Wanted—a two-page paper on plagiarism for my ethics class.