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I Wish I Were High

My parents were wrong. My teachers were wrong. Nancy Reagan was wrong. They all said that drugs were bad and would ruin your life, but Upwork tells me that's just not true.

Have you seen how many cannabis, CBD, and hemp-related jobs there are?!

I just saw one that said it was looking for "experts in the cannabis field to help build content for a cannabis-related platform." I'm not really sure what a "cannabis-related platform" is. To me, it sounds like some sort of jungle gym made out of hemp, but as we've already established, I'm no authority on this topic.

I'm one of the kids who never smoked pot, and now I'm truly regretting it. I could be writing blogs about hemp, creating product descriptions for hemp-based CBD tinctures, and coming up with advertorials for CBD dog treats! And you know what? Most of the cannabis-related jobs pay really well!

These people are looking for experts to describe their medical marijuana and CBD oils, and I am definitely not an expert. Is it too late for me to dabble? Getting high during a pandemic with your kids at home sounds bad, but horticultural research for employment opportunities sounds okay. See, that's what good writing can get you—"questionable parenting choices" suddenly become "steps showing true job dedication."

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